[IC] Pre-intro

[stupidcupid]

[ you're being watched ]

Comments

[stupidcupid]

Whatever you say, boss.

[ and he whaps with the bow from behind before jumping off and landing neatly on his feet ]

[trickor]

[the illusion fades in a flicker of green-gold]

Did you just arrive, Agent Barton? I had been informed you were...otherwise occupied.

[stupidcupid]

I'm fashionably late. In reality. You know what reality is, right?

[trickor]

So far as mortals understand it? That plane of existence controlled by rules you follow because you know not better.

[stupidcupid]

Actually, I was talking about the delusional space inside your head, but carry on.

[trickor]

You've had a taste of such...delusion. Was it not wonderful? Comforting and simple, to simply know, to serve. Truth. Real truth and peace. It is what Midgard needs.

[stupidcupid]

[ stiffens ]

I already knew that part. All you did was take it as your own.

[trickor]

[croons, leaning in a little closer]

You saw my vision, little hawk, you knew my mind. Would it be so terrible? I would be a wise king, a benevolent one.

[stupidcupid]

[ his fingers twitch towards his quiver ]

Yeah, maybe you would be, but then you'd end up destroying McDonalds' and then where would we be?

[trickor]

Why would such an establishment be destroyed? It provides quick nourishment at a decent price, and though it may not be considered fine cuisine, it is enough to please the peons.

[stupidcupid]

Yeah, and after that, you'd blow it up for not having a Loki figure in your Happy Meal.

[trickor]

What is this...Happy Meal?

[stupidcupid]

Something that's happy, which means you don't get it 'cause you're not happy. They don't sell to people who believe in genocide and Pinocchio.

[trickor]

Genocide is applauded when done by the right person. Supported and rewarded, so long as the aggressor charges in like an imbecile, proclaiming his intent and leading his men to death. My method was much more effective, swift and clean with no loss to our ranks.

[stupidcupid]

Maybe so.

But guess what? That person's still not you. You're not that guy. You were never that guy. Lie better.

[trickor]

I do look forward to the reaction when you attempt to tell Thor he is not allowed one of these Happiness Meals you speak of.

[stupidcupid]

The big guy can have the entire restaurant if he likes.

[trickor]

And you claimed such things are not meant for those who believe in genocide!

[stupidcupid]

[ frowns ]

Thor saved Earth, you tried to wipe us out. Not seeing your point here.

[trickor]

Oh, he did not tell you.

No, Agent Barton, you have it all wrong. I did not attempt genocide upon the Earth; you need not the help! Humans do that quite well on your own, killing each other in droves for naught. I merely sought to stop such mindless death by giving you a single king. A leader to whom you may bring your troubles, an unbiased third party to solve arguments and disagreements before they escalate to the travesty you set upon each other. When there is so much else out there, the Realms and all that lives between them, why should you fight your own kind? Look to the sky, Agent Barton; you know I speak the truth. You have seen Truth.

[stupidcupid]

[ yeah no drawing an arrow into his bowstring ]

Shut up. Stop bringing up that damn thing.

[trickor]

Please don't. It would be so much simpler if you did not anger me.

[stupidcupid]

Funny how I get zero consideration here, boss.

[trickor]

Your use of sarcasm still leaves much to be desired.

[stupidcupid]

Oh, you haven't heard sarcastic.